I met a friend whom I hadn't met for ages today.. uh, I mean "yesterday" cus it's 1am now xD
Hmm... We went to a café called "Espresso House" which is actually a huge Swedish café chain which is active (?) in the Nordic countries. I ordered some caramel cheesecake because I had been craving it for SO LONG as well as a Chai Latte, and she ordered a mudcake with Chai Latte too :'3 (Espresso House's Chai Latte is the best, and so is their Frapino :'D You should really give them a try if you ever decide to pay a visit! The Strawberry & White Chocolate Frapino is my favourite Frapino heheehe)
I'm not going to lie, I was very nervous. I tend to be nervous if I haven't met someone for a long time even if they're really close friends of mine. I'm sure I might not be the only one who feels this way? :o What made me even more nervous though was the fact that her boyfriend wanted to meet me and get to know me as well the same day. I'm grateful that I got to meet her for approximately 2 hours before he joined us though ^^;
I brought my camera, sketchbook, pens and notebook with me this time. Everytime I go out I always battle with thoughts of whether I should bring them with me or not and I ALWAYS regret not bringing them afterwards. I'm glad I learnt my lesson this time though because the sketching actually made the whole hang out with her and her boyfriend a bit more chill in a way since we had something to do x) I found it cute how they both wanted to sketch and a "plus" is that I now also have a little memory of it to look back at ^-^ I sketched the cup with Chai Latte and the girl with the weird pumpkin on her head (I sketched her upside down x'D), my friend made the cactus and the planet and her boyfriend made the screaming frog, the unicorn and the tree :') My friend actually sketched a unicorn first but then she erased it and then her boyfriend wanted to give it a try as well xD
Her boyfriend and I only small talked for a while in the beginning but then it went quiet between us. In my point of view, our hang out was disastrous in the "OH LET'S GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER" sense because when we were "done" small talking it felt like I was ignoring him ;__; I KEPT SKETCHING TO PRETEND TO NOT BEING BOTHERED BY HOW AWKWARD I FELT FOR HIS SAKE, IDK. I felt like a failure. My friend had already told me that he has a very serious face most of the time, like a poker face, so I was kiiinda prepared? But idk... whenever I laughed at something and saw how he kept his straight face, I couldn't help but to think "oh, sorry, why did I laugh, that wasn't funny at all nvm". I suck :'D Apparently he didn't think it was disastrous though? MEETING A CLOSE FRIEND'S PARTNER IS ALWAYS SO... EXCITING AND INTERESTING BUT ALSO SCARY AT THE SAME TIME. Not sure how to explain it but aren't we all curious as to what type of person the people are that our close friends are dating? .............. does that question make sense........... é_è
....anyways, I'm so tired and sleepy which is unusual at this hour, but not really surprising since I was actually out socializing :') I really hope me and this friend will hang out a bit more often because I miss her. The bad thing about us though is that we're both awful at keeping in contact with people (in general).
I wanted to talk a bit more about this whole "barrier" thingy when it comes to being myself/relax with other people etc, cus I came to some sort of insight today even though I already knew about it before. I'll talk about it in my next post though because I'm too tired to function right now and it's more of a follow-up to the post "Emptiness and Loneliness". Goodnight!~ ....I feel like this post is all over the place :^)
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