Since we're having a one week vacation right now, I think I feel a little bit better. The thoughts keep haunting me though. I'm scared of going back. I don't want to go back. I haven't really been sleeping that well lately. It's always been late nights and early mornings. I thought of going to bed earlier today but I can't fall asleep. It feels like the days will end a lot quicker if I go to bed earlier.. and I just don't want to be a few steps closer to the end of vacation ;___;;
I went to see the woman from the organisation this Tuesday... and she never mentioned anything about the medications so I don't really think I'll have to take any meds. I'm a bit relieved but.. she never mentioned anything about the physiotherapist that the doctor told me to think about either. She actually never mentioned anything related to the discussion that me and the doctor had had the week before. The doctor said we might have to meet a second time, but that wasn't mentioned either. It doesn't feel like this is going anywhere. I don't feel like we're making any progress at all. It feels like we talk about the same things over and over again... and it feels like she's repeating the things she says. I mean... whenever I tell her something, it's like I can predict the things she's about to say because she says the same thing most of the time. Even though this is just supposed to be a "short time contact" I've been seeing her for about 4-5 times now. Even though I've been seeing her so many times, and even though I've met the doctor she wanted me to meet, she's still stuck in the "what should we do to help you? phase". Is this never ending? I'm seeing her again next Tuesday but I don't want to...and I don't want to be rude ;_;; She's a nice person and all, but I don't feel like our meetings help me in any way at all because things just keep repeating itself... Honestly, if nothing's going to be done, I'd rather continue seeing the school counselor because I always feel better everytime I speak to her. She said we weren't going to see each other that much anymore since I'm getting help elsewhere now and she doesn't want to exhaust me with too many questions. I'm scared she'll just let me go :(
I'm just scared of a lot of things right now, I can't help it ;-;
-I'm sorry that I complain a lot.. :{
