New Years 2013

Ohai~
It's 2013 in about 35 minutes ^-^
I just wanted to wish you a HaPpY nEw YeAr !
Hehee, yeeah.. I'm just going to watch the fireworks alone in our balcony =)
My brothers have been going out to celebrate with their friends. Lol, I wanted them to be with me @_@ Although I know they'd get bored... >.> I'm such a caring sister.......
Anyways.. I'm sitting here... eating Tiramisu. I think it's some kind of Italian dessert... 0.0

Now it's only 19 minutes left ; _ ;
I'm going to head off to the balcony to take pictures/videos soon. @__@
I'm not really that excited but... <.< Ahem.. no.. nevermind.

Feeling Distant

Okay.. so here is what I was going to 'explain'. I don't know what's wrong with me. What exactly do I want???? When it's "school-time" I've got this problem with all the homework and stress, so I complain about wanting to take a break... but once it's really break I can't seem to be happy.. I feel more and more depressed and kinda isolated. I've noticed my health is poor, like, really poor. School is the only reason I eat at all. I barely eat at home. I've got no apetite.. and during this break Erin has been trying to contact me, but I keep ignoring her and hiding from her every freakin' time. She sends me 84939 messages on facebook asking me where I am and why I'm never online. I hate myself for being like this. I feel so distant... I'm home every fuckn' day doing nothing but wasting my time on games... I'm even starting to get too lazy to do the things I enjoy the most, like reading books and drawing. I. CAN'T. TAKE. IT. But who else is there to blame but me? I was the one who let myself get pulled into the 'dark'.

     Pshh, I always tell myself "use the time effective never lose a minute of it on something useless" but I end up pushing everything away... I feel scared of going out and hang out with friends because the time will flow a lot faster... and because it'll feel as if I haven't had enough time. I'm waiting for someone to save me from this misery, but whenever the time really comes... I start to hide. Erin has only contacted me via facebook, I mean... she's got my cell number so why isn't she texting me instead?? She knows it will reach me... I guess she's not doing much of an effort... STILL, I'm so shameful to have as a friend.. I'm too selfish. I'm being unfair.

I'm.. off to sleep... but I don't know how many hours it will take for me to fall asleep . . . . . . .  ò_ó

UGGHH

Is there any limit of how miserable one can feel? ; __ ;
Ugh.. Q_Q

No snow

Wow, everyone's been talking about The End of The World .__. Personally, I don't really believe in those kinda stuff... @_@ But... anyways, the snow has been melting... !!!!! Actually, that happened a few days ago but.. yeah, it feels kind of weird. It's raining right now. Yep, it's raining not snowing. I'm blaming it on the CO2. ; __ ; I'm sleepy... and this is the shittiest half-assed thing I've ever written in my entire life...
I'm going to explain it all tomorrow. With "it" I mean.... wait, no... I'm not sure what I mean. UGH. I'm just going to say "bye". Bye.

Merry (Belated) Christmas?

Hello~
I forgot to wish you a 'Happy Christmas' yesterday >.< (what does "Merry" mean by the way? ô_õ)
I, myself, don't celebrate Christmas... so... it's date is not really imprinted in my brain ; _ ; *bow, bow*
Well.. so.. I wish you had an awesome Christmas~ ^ ^
This break from school is great! >_> (probably) I feel like it's some kind of dark magic source dragging out my lazy side.. ;A; I mean... I'm so freakin' lazy.... My back hurts a lot right now, I'M AGING!!!!! =[]
Anyways... so...
I've been starting to play Runescape ever since the second day of the break.... ; _ ; and.. I'm addicted to finishing quests. My goal is to achieve 500 pieces of music!! (because then I'll be able to do the Air Guitar emote *-*) Sorry for all the unnessecary information... ._.
ANYWAYS.
I ate ice cream today =D

Yes.. there are only blurry pictures since I took them with my cell... and.. well, the 'take photo' button is kinda retarded so I had to press it really hard BUT IT STILL DIDN'T TAKE A PHOTO! So I stood there trying to keep my balance while my finger was shaking @__@ (nightmare) the photo above was the best I had... although it had started to melt HAHAH ._. The second photo is okay... though it looks like the ice cream itself is in my bare hand.... >_<

I don't know if any of my sentences are understandable... if not, I'm very sorry m(_ _)m

..but I'm kinda sleepy right now..... ( -o-) ZzZzzzZ

G'night >.<

(Secret: I'm not going to bed yet >__> I'm going to read a few chapters of Manga first <_>)

Suffering comes to an end

Yay!
Tomorrow is the last day of school's first semester(sounds so sad to use that word... since "semester" means vacation in swedish ; _ ; and.. well.. it's NOT the last day of vacation ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)
Anyways, so...... I'm just going to wear my normal clothes to the church(the 'ending' is in the church ._.)... and... well.. it feels so wrong since my normal clothes are usually black and white @__@ and, well, christmas mostly revolves around red color ._. I'm going to feel like a criminal for breaking the invisible rules.... ; _ ; HAHAH.

I've finished my drawing by the way XD

It looks blurry and unfinished... but it's actually finished! It's just my sucky skills of making the white clothings look like they're "fully covered" and not "ooops, I forgot to color them!". TT^TT

But, oh well.

Oh yeah.. I forgot....! Yesterday, some classmate said I was cute as sugar ahahahah >//< We actually had to read our poems about our classmates, out loud, in front of the whole class.. so.. he read his... and he said I was cute as sugar o//o I definately think it was only for the sake of his poem... but I couldn't help but smile, eheee >//> ... our other classmates teased him and said "Wait, what did you say about her?" and he was like "Noo, I won't say it again." and went back to his seat. <//<
I told myself "It's no big deal, alright? Don't smile, don't smile." but I was being like ---> >x<
Hahahahahahahahahahahhah, die, die die. *shoots myself*

Awesomely Free

I feel so awesomely free~
No homework!
Sooooo, IT'S TIME TO KILL... SOME TIME >:D in a fun way ._.
and yeah... this is how I do it ;3

It's progressing... xD I dunno if I'll color it though .__.

Anyways..

Tomorrow isn't a regular school day!!! ^ ^ We'll play games and watch movies.. lol, they call it a "cuddle day" (literally translated)... and the last thing we're gonna do on that "cuddle day" is... cleaning ._.

Fun.

I'm feeling so free ; _ ;

Here! Some entertainment:

Watch the whole thing, alright??? >  <
Bye then~

Failed Gin

Two post in one day! @__@
Anyways, so... I wrote in a former-former-former post that I was going to show more pictures of my failed cosplay of Gin from the anime Hotarubi no mori e. So.. here's the one and only of them that I'll show. >  <

I hope no one crazy finds my blog. Or else I'll just kill myself ; _ ;

Anyways, so now you know how I look in real life.. with a wig .__.
*bow*
PS. Too bad the mask isn't showing though ;A;
Hrmm..  I'll just link to the post where you can see it ---> here

Okay, bye! :9

Sigh

Sing with me under the moonlight

and make this moment feel right
We'll sing a beautiful song
and lie to ourselves
that this is the place where we belong

A piece of art. Nuh, just kidding.. I drew that a few months ago, hahah. ^ ^

The photo above.. is... just a photo..where I tried to capture the moon in.. which I failed at...

...because I know nothing... ._.

Anyways. I'm kind of... feeling a bit anxious right now.. I'm not sure if I should say anything about it since I'm being anxious for a weird reason.. I just want to hit myself in the face, which is what I did a few hours ago @__@ UGH, I want to skip an assignment we have for "high school's english"! We have to video tape ourselves making a news broadcast! ;A; ..and I hate webcams or any sort of videocameras there is. I just hate having to make a video of myself.
I'm scared. -3-
I mean... what's made it even worse is that my little brother webcammed with some weird strangers through a website yesterday!! He wore a mask while doing that (okay, that was smart of him), BUT some old dude thought my brother was a girl!! Also, that old dude thought of himself as drunk because he drank coca-cola!! He was like "show me your boobies". So.. I told my brother to close the freakn' camera. When he closed it.. I seriously wanted to run to the kitchen, take a huge knife and stab it into the webcam so that it would NEVER work again. I mean... it scared the hell outta me!! ; __ ;
and now... my hatred for webcams has grown. Q_Q I want to escape TT^TT Who invented that sh*t? ;A;
Joke, joke.. it's not a shitty invention. It's actually a good one, though I hate them anyways...
Photos are good, videos are not... at least not if I'm the only one who will get video taped. If I'm dragged into that sh*t someone has to come with me!!!!!! .__.

Free :D

Wow :D
My sister had ordered a pink cell phone case for her HTC-something-I-don't-know-because-I'm-probably-old-fashioned, but got a case for a Samsung Galaxy S instead. It didn't fit her phone, obviously... so she mailed them saying they sent her the wrong one. Guess what?? They mailed her back saying they'd send her the right one(for HTC) and that she didn't have to send the wrong case back! So I got it from her XD

Hahah, my phone is Vivaz so it doesn't fit. but I've actually been thinking of buying a new one.. Either a Samsung Galaxy S3 or a Samsung Galaxy Note 2... so it's probably perfect. I don't like pink though ; _ ; But... since it's free... I'll just take it :'3

Also.. I looked into my old photos and found this drawing I created for a teacher when I was in Thailand..

I didn't color it because there was no time left to do that...

She wanted me and my sister to draw for her, hahah @__@
..and so, we did.

"Draw with me"

I've never.... in my life... seen something so sad ; _ ;

Full song:

Cherish, by Ai Otsuka >  <

Hellrou

Hellrou~
Exams again, tomorrow!! ; _ ;
I've just.. wasted my time... I'm not proud of it.. I thought I'd be using the time effective... but no, it didn't work that way. At all.
Ahah, and this is my failing attempt of catching the sunset's nice colors -__-

I had to take the picture fast... the blood of my feets almost froze to blood-ice! TT^TT
Yes, I suffered quite a lot. I stood there saying "Auw, my feet, my feet, my feet! Cold. Cold!! >.<" *stomping* Although I was at the balcony on my own... @__@

I've got to study now 3:<

Foggie

It was "foggie" outside today x3
~loving fog~

Ahah, that guy there is running because he doesn't want to miss the snowball fight XD

-Random foot interruption-

Nothing much to say actually... except for.. that "Christmas Break" (about three weeks of break off school) is starting on Thursday next week. ^ ^

Something so small

I found this on the table at school.... and it made me happy   o.e

Reminds me of the 'rhyme' I wrote:

Take care of yourself, ✩ ★
be strong ✫
Try to fight for what's right, ★
try to fight against all wrongs
~Although your hopes might be gone,
I'll be here cheering you on
I'll push you to the edge of "FIGHTING!" ☁
So you can explode and glow as the lightning ϟ

Hahah.. I wish the world was simple.. or do I..? ugh, anyway.. we all have that one time when we wish we could to back to our childhood, right? ; _ ;

Irritated

Okay so...
I'm back to complain a bit. Hahah..
Sarah told me "Life's much easier than you think".
I got pissed... I might not have the right to get mad.. but no, life's not easier than I think. Her life might be easy, but mine's not the same as hers, alright? I'll probably regret typing all of this, but let's be honest about my feelings for "once"...
     I'm probably killing myself for all the homework and stuff, but she doesn't care one bit about school... so, that's what makes the difference.. and my other friend, Erin... She.... she can't finish any assignment (at all) without my help. She asks me for my help on every task given to her... it's like... I'm doing them for her..since whenever I try to explain, she never gets it.. so I have to give her the answers and then explain.. I'm dying mentally here.. She doesn't get anything of the questions she's got to answer and so on.. even if they were the most easy ones.. I don't know if I'm being mean, but I just can't take it.

She's gotten a new friend that she's getting attached to, like really attached. So.. she spends her time with that person(it's not love, it's friendship, don't take it the wrong way)... and she never really contacts me until she needs help. With homework. I'm starting to think... is she going to use me until I die? @_@ She's gotta learn to take care of her homework when she starts high school, really. I can't take it anymore. I get irritated really easy, and I hate it. Hahah, I can't tell her to back off either. I'd feel bad..

PS. It's seriously getting really cold here...and I always wear thin jackets -.-
I've probably never known the feeling of wearing a thick jacket. @__@

Ideal Place

I've spent my time drawing and coloring >_<
Everyone is allowed to dream, right? I drew my own dream... to sit under the stars.
If you don't want to look at the progress, just scroll down till you get to the results ^ ^'

Oops... weird blue light there, hahah XD

....and soo... it's finished ! :3

That's my dream. What's your dream? (Lol, I sound like a robot XD)
Anyways. I'm gonna start with my homework noww ^ ^

Lost my motivation

Hello.
It's been a long time.. I've just lost my motivation and everything... Honestly, I've never done anything fun lately... it's all the same: homework....
It's started to snow though ...

It's getting white... hahah....
Nuh, actually... not around the area where I live... we have a parking lot not far away from the appartment.

Yes, this is the terrible and shocking truth about snow ._. (or not >__>) It looks so... I dunno.. 

. . . ."beautiful" around here these days :'D *wipes off imaginary tears*

nuh... it's the cars.. I kinda hate parking lots, they attract CARS `^´
AAND Cars are beauty-killing maniacs *pouts* e__e