Escape

so... I'm back in my Otaku-mode. Please, just get me away from this hurtful reality. I feel so lonely =/ I want a change in my life, yet, I'm too lazy and scared to fight for it. I hate myself for pitying myself like this -.-

I haven't... contacted my best friend for months.. 

I don't know what to do... psshh, no. I know what to do. I'm just a coward.

I'm sorry for following your steps anonymously

I'm sorry for walking right pass you,

even though you look at me so cheerlessely...
Don't get me wrong,

I care about you with all of my heart
As a friend of yours, 

I'm sorry for not doing my part

I'm just afraid making things worse than they already are
It's useless isn't it... sitting here,

passivly waiting, for a falling star..?

Without knowing it,

I've made things so much worse

I'm hopeless,

I just can't get away from this curse

I don't want to lose, yet, another friend

I want to be the one you can lay your back on, 

and depend!!!

I thought the times with you were endless,

no matter how much of it I'd spend

Yeah, I'm the worst friend in history,

for not being there for you, from the beginning till the end.

This is the worst. The only thing I do is 'writing out' these miserable feelings and cry... Hahah... I even used animes to escape from these miserable feelings... 

Tonari No Kaibutsu-Kun

Ugghh, although I was happy for that time being.. I still had those awful feelings lingering in my heart...

Eating... watching.. eating... watching.. 'laughing'... that's what I did today.

When I finished watching the whole anime... those depressing feelings took over me at an instant. I'm feeling so down right now...... -_-