Can't take it anymore

I can't take it anymore! No one probably wants to read all of my complainings... but here it comes...

My sister is making me doing everything on her behalf... I have a test on Wednesday which means I have to get a day off the guitarlessons... and well... guess what??? she also has a test on Wednesday, but she's telling me to mail them and tell them we're taking a day off! I asked her why she couldn't do it.. but she tells me "I have homework, I gotta study this and that." What about ME? I also have homework to do! Okay, fine. I don't know why I'm so fed up with it, but what's making me even more pissed off is that it always has to be me who does the registrations.... orderings..... etc, etc! It's seriously pissing me off! and now she doesn't even help me with my mail...! There's no contact-mail to the music teacher we're having either! What the hell??? I ask her "can you just help me for a bit here?" and she's like... "uhm... look up...this... that... uhh -quiet-" SERIOUSLY?!?!? She doesn't give a F*CK. She's dumping everything to ME. Wait... what is she doing? Oh, she's not doing her homework, NO... she's busy doing something else

LOL, I feel like crying... I know I'm overreacting about this, but I've always been her shadow...

Here comes my looooooong story from the beginning:

When I was seven, I got a friend. My first friend who I could play with although school ended... She followed me home... and we went to play outside. My sister wanted to play with us too, so she came along. But... I'm the quiet type, right? Well, she talked to my friend, and then suddenly they played with each other while I was watching... I got depressed of course, since I was only a child at that time... so I went home without them noticing. That's where all these disgusting feelings started...

I hate Thailand because our relatives treat her in a special way... they made some clothing for us... she got a black special one and I got a blue normal one... they made three more to us and let us choose for ourselves. One of them were black... it was beautiful with the colors and stuff (could be mine since she already had a black one) and the other ones were normal green, and sky-blue. Well... we were on the plane.. we peaked at them because we were so happy and excited... We couldn't see how they looked, we could only see their colors.. so she told me "You can have the black one since I already have a black one :)" So I thought for the first time in my life: "Really? Thanks! :D"

... when we reached home we opened the package and saw them all. The black one was beautiful and specially made (almost like her black one) and the other two were normally made... so the next day... I see her wearing the black one. Not her black one, but the black one that was supposed to be mine.
Me: Uhm... is it yours?

Her: Yeah. I don't like the other two, so you can have both of them.

I'm like "WHAT?!? Did you even ask for my opinion before taking it?!? Don't I also have the right to choose??" but no, I didn't tell her... I just took them... "happily". Great. Thanks a lot eh?

We both had a pretty black-n-white shirt. Though her were fluffy but mine weren't (I don't like the fluffiness of the shoulders). She chose her fluffy shirt herself! But guess what? When she wore it, she didn't really like it... so she said "I don't like the fluffiness..."

I thought for myself "Oh... no.... please don't tell m-"

Her: Can... we make an exchange?

Me: I don't like the fluffiness either...

Her: Please? Come on...

Me: -sigh-.... why...? (WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!?!?)

Her: THANKS A LOT! *changes into my shirt*

Me: I don't like the fluffiness!!!!!

Her: You fit in it more than I do.

OMG, I SERIOUSLY WANTED TO HIT SOMETHING.

I regret the fact that I used to let her choose first all the time, especially when we were kids... I always thought of her feelings... I never wanted to take something that she wanted. I always let her have the things that I actually wanted... There was a time when... for the first time in my life... I got something that I really liked... My aunt gave us one lippgloss each... she gave me the one that had the smell of strawberries... ^ ^ and gave my sister the one that had the smell of oranges. My sister got a bit dissatisfied so she got depressed... BUT little me went to her and asked her "Did you want this?"

Her: Yes.... but you don't have to...

Me: Just take it. We don't have to make an exchange. ^ ^

Her: You sure...?

Me: Yeah! :)

Three weeks later:

Me: Can I borrow the "strawberry-lipgloss" that I gave you? > . <

Her: Sure... but it wasn't you who gave me it. It was mine from the beginning.

Me: Uhh.. don't you remember?

Her: Don't talk nonsense!

When we were in Thailand:

We bought jeans.. I bought one pair of jeans.... she couldn't choose from three of her favorites so she just said "Whatever! I'll take all the three of them! :D"

Me: But... I only got one...?

Her: WE CAN USE THEM TOGETHER! ^ ^

My cousin: Wow....

Her: What? -3- We're going to share it!

At home...

Me: Uhmm... so... can I use a pair of the ones you bought?

Her: Why would I let you???? e_e

...and I'm thinking... "WHAT THE HELL?!?"

My mom asked my sister: Why did you only let your sister to buy only one pair? But you get to buy three?

Her: She didn't buy it herself!!!

I'm thinking like... "You were in a hurry!!!! You didn't give me time to buy another to pairs! And what about the sharing???"

But I'm thinking of protecting her instead.... so I said "Mom.... The workers didn't give us much time to choose...they just came to us and suddenly showed us the way to the checkout without asking if we were done..."

When we just moved to a new appartment there were two rooms which me and my sister could choose from... One room had a not-so-good floor, the other one had a better one.... but when our parents asked us which room we wanted to take... I TOOK THE MORE "POOR" ONE BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE HER SAD. And that was it. -.- She... was so happy....

Why am I even doing this?!?!? LOL, am I doing this just so that I can feel better about myself?!?!? So that I can prodly think "What a good little sister I am"?!?!? Guess what?!?!? I'm sick of it!!!! She doesn't even notice the things I do for her!!! And she doesn't do the same things to me.... She doesn't even think of what I want..... Sometimes she's nice and being all "When we go to Thailand we will have a great time! Just the two of us!!!" and then I'm like "Maybe she's not so bad after all :)" 

But when it comes to it.. I'M NOTHING BUT HER SHADOW. Sometimes... I just think for myself... 

"Am I doing this because I'm thinking of her feelings.... or am I just doing this to satisfly her, just to avoid a fight...?"

PS. There's more... worse too.... but... I'm not going to write all of it... hahah... sometimes I just wanna throw myself into a wall... I feel pathetic.