We were...

Erin and I were supposed to hang out today. We made the "appointment" yesterday, because she wanted to see me during this holiday-week... but suddenly I got a text from her today saying:
"uhmm we can't hang out today because I'm going to meet Noir(the friend she's been adoring), so yeah see ya some other day. text me or yeah.. hihihihihihi" 

I have no idea if we made our "appointment" before hers and Noir's but.. I think WE made the appointment first.. because... if she'd made the appointment with Noir first, then there's no way she'd forget that appointment and make one with me (she should've turned me down). Erin likes Noir a lot, remember?? I remember her telling me "I have no idea if I'll be able to live without you because you've helped me with everything. I love you ^ ^" I think I got the answer with that text-message she sent me. I hope she's doing well right now. I know she's able to live without me, and this is my chance to prove that to her by making a distance. She doesn't need me :) We're going to part someday anyway, so I'll let it slowly start right now. We'll get new friends and move on, that's life..

Anyways, Erin hung out with Noir yesterday too. They went to the shopping mall and accidently met Sarah there. LOL. Sarah is pretty possesive with her friends, so that caused some scene there.. @.@ At least that's what I heard from Erin.

So.. I'm not really depressed or anything that Erin canceled the "hanging out". Because... I was the one who never contacted anyone during this holiday... so it's my own fault for not trying to hang out with my friends. If I keep up with this, I will eventually lose them... so... it's not their loss, it's mine. After those 11 years with Erin, I guess it's starting to come to an end? It's not like I expected us to stay friends forever, so... I guess it's alright. I had it coming. :)

HAHAH, AM I FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF RIGHT NOW?!?!?

........ I feel pathetic for smiling and crying at the same time while writing all of this...
I'll probably end up alone in the future since I have a hard time being social... TT^TT BUT... IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT I'M UNAPPROACHABLE, RIGHT...? Okay.. it is... 

SHUT UP brain! You're making me even more depressed... 

............why the hell... am I talking to my brain? ;__;