Probably.
Mom promised me a few days ago that she'd give me her coat because she couldn't wear it. Whether it's pretty or not, I didn't care. I was just happy that I'd for once... get something special that my sister wouldn't take away from me... but I felt guilty since she didn't get one.. but anyways.
.................................
Yesterday my sister saw the coat and asked mom why she couldn't get it. So my mom told her she could. I don't blame my sister from wanting it, she didn't know anything. But.... uhm.. yeah, mom forgot all about me. Whatever. Why would I care? I felt guilty for getting it 'from the beginning' anyway. Today, mom gave it to her. She was happy. I couldn't help feeling invisible although I know it's my own fault for staying isolated the whole time. Sis gets everything she wants. It's easy for her to voice her opinions... to voice what she wants.
I envy her.
I thought for myself "But mom..? Have you forgotten that you said you'd give it to me? And sis... didn't you already get all those special things while I'm getting all the unwanted things? Aren't they enough?" Hahah.. I couldn't help but getting these selfish thoughts... Can't I just act spoiled for once...?
You know what? Just now I decided not to care. I don't need any stuff, I don't need any attention.
I'm fine.
WHO AM I KIDDING?!?!?
I'm NOT fine. But seriously, I don't care about those annoying stuff anymore.
As long as no one knows about the selfishness inside of me, I'm fine with being invisible.I'm a coward. ò3ó but whatever... TT^TT
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